Thursday, April 9, 2015

The Joys of Food, a Whacked Out Gall Bladder, and Ultrasounds

I have been a tad under the weather for some time and the doctor thinks I may have a bad gall bladder, so off she sent me to get an ultrasound this morning. Just got back from the procedure and I should get the results later today.

Last night under the doctor's orders, I ate a 100% fat- and flavor-free meal comprised of clear miso soup and a blend of squash and zucchini slices. I think then that you will understand that as I lay on the examination table, when the clinician brought up the subject of food I became greatly interested in the conversation.

As she tried to shove a ceramic rod through my abdomen in an effort to get a clearer picture, we waxed eloquent on the epicurean delicacies of grilled pineapple, the subtle flirtations of rice pudding. In awed whispers we talked about the sensual delights of homemade broth, the inherent eroticism of Chicken Alfredo.

When I left, crazed with hunger, I wandered through the waiting room where a woman sat reading a copy of Cooking With Paula Deen. I dimly recall, as if in a dream, I might have grabbed the magazine from her and eaten it.

At least it would have been fat- and flavor-free.

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