Sunday, March 29, 2015

The Psalter of Saint Brumphrey the Unstable



This morning I came across a post from a talented friend who is gifted at recreating authentic medieval psalters and other illustrated manuscripts. In her post I rudely interjected the following:

The Psalter of Saint Brumphrey the Unstable was done completely in Crayolas as he was not allowed anything sharp. Not the nicest work as he was completely illiterate, but his intentions were sincere

Now, all I can think about is writing Saint Brumphrey’s hagiography beginning with how as a very young child, he was found living with wombats in the Australian Outback. How he was taken in and educated by the Brothers of Perpetual Discontent and, afterwards, his long arduous journey to the United States where he eventually became known as the patron saint of professional whistlers and the letter “J.” How his feast day is unique amongst saints as there is no set date but “whenever you’re feeling a tad peckish.”

Saint Bumphrey spent his final days as an anchorite sealed into the wall of Deanwood Station on the Yellow Line of the Washington D.C. Metro, but it was only after the pounding and screaming stopped after seven days that they remembered they should have left a small hole for the passing of food and water. He was accidentally canonized as a saint a few years later when Pope Paul VI, having forgotten his reading glasses, signed his name on the wrong line.

Yes, I could write much, but I have to work today.

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