Book Reviews!

If you follow me, you know I long for book reviews, even if three star, one sentence reviews. The reason is not for stroking my own ego, but that Amazon's algorithms ignore books unless they reach a certain number of reviews.

Anyway, I was asked what type of reviews I would not want to receive.

Well...that's a loaded question for a guy who also writes humor.

"If the man who invented writing knew what Alan Loewen would have produced, he would have broken his own fingers, and we would all still be using hieroglyphics today." ~ Emma Plushbottom (Buford's Armpit, Arkansas)

"I read Alan Loewen's latest collection and I want to know if he'll reimburse me for my sudden onset of bleeding ulcers." ~ Bitsy Squattwist (Gas, Kansas)"

In comparison, Alan Loewen makes James Patterson sound like Charles Dickens." Sandy Rollo-Coaster (Bugtussle, Kentucky)

"My saddest thought is that someday, the shelves of used book stores will be choked with Loewen's works representing all the poor slobs that actually bought his stuff." Ima Looney (Burnt Porcupine, Maine)

"The phone book has a better plot." Ben Dover (Mud Butte, South Dakota)

"Best book I own. I use it to brace the leg of my wobbly dinner table."  Bita Dogg (Chug Water, Wyoming)"

After reading Loewen's latest, I would like to think that in a previous life I did something to deserve this." Jed I. Knight (Ketchuptown, South Carolina)

Trivia note: Except for Buford's Armpit, Arkansas, all the town names are real places. And, believe it or not, a few of the personal names are real as well.

By the bye, I could really use some real, honest-to-goodness book reviews on Amazon. Just don't steal mine. :-P