Good News For Writers

 

False Advertising

I am a huge fan of old-school horror and will eagerly read anything from the late 1800s to the 1980s. I eagerly scour used bookstores for such treats, but occasionally, I run across one that is a real dog.

I introduce you to Earth Sound by Arthur Herzog.

Warning: Spoilers Ahead, but as nobody reading my review will include this in their library anyway, I write a review with lots of spoilers and not a molecule of a guilty conscience.

Harry Vail has a doctorate in seismology. However, he and his girlfriend were present at the March 27, 1964, Alaska Earthquake and Tsunami, an actual historical quake measuring XI on the modified Mercalli Intensity scale. Seeing his girlfriend buried alive under a landslide invoked in Harry an overwhelming dread of earth tremors of any size.

Eventually, Harry marries and moves to what he thinks is the most geologically stable part of the United States, a fictitious coastal town named Old Brompton Village in New England that makes Lovecraft's Innsmouth look like a Pocono resort.

Harry begins feeling tremors in the ground, but even though he is an expert in earthquakes, nobody believes him, and nobody else feels these quakes. Nor do they hear the Moodus noises, the earth sounds of the title.

Combine this with weird summer neighbors that have all the caricatures of the spoiled filthy rich, the hostility of the townsfolk toward outsiders, in the end you have an incredulous tale where you do not just suspend disbelief, you have to drag it kicking and screaming into a dark alley and beat it to death.

Of course, in the end, the big earthquake hits, one even larger than the one Harry experienced in Alaska that wipes out the town (where we eventually discover the townsfolk have been worshipping the Moodus noises for generations and, for some reason, will kill to keep it all secret). Unfortunately, I found the earthquake so anticlimactic that when I finally reached the end, I was grateful to have finished the book but saddened at the loss of time I invested in it. I'm just thankful the used bookstore only wanted $3.00 for it.

So why is this a good turn of events for writers? Because if Herzog could publish this doggeral, there is hope for all of us.

Now, what should I do with this book? I cannot give it to friends, and I certainly do not want it taking up space in my library. I will most likely donate this to a thrift store with this review tucked away within its pages.