Sunday, July 5, 2015

10 Things Only Kids Who Grew Up In 10,000 B.C. Will Understand

1. All the kids draw on cave walls 'cause the parents don't really care. Not like our graffiti is going to go down in history or anything.

2.  Carrying water in a dried out gourd becomes a thing. Next thing you know, you better have the latest gourd model or everybody points and laughs at you.

3.  Fido the Dire Wolf dies. Can't replace him because all his kin died out.

4.  Beer is invented and the world is never the same again.

5.  Göbekli Tepe, the world's first known holy site, is built. Kids start complaining about going to church. 

6.  You're told that you have Neanderthal blood in your ancestry. It's not an insult.

7.  The Bering Strait land bridge is submerged under the rising ocean waters. No more family reunions with the cousins over in North America.

8.  Neighbor buries a fig seed under the ground and a fig tree pops up. Brainstorm! Now we're all planting fig trees, but we have to wait 10 millennia for Fig Newtons to be invented.

9.  The cousin tames a wild goat for fun and we all laugh at the novelty. Like people are ever going to keep goats, right?

10.  PPETA (Prehistoric People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) says we got to stop slaughtering all the wooly mammoths. Right! There's huge herds of them out there!


  1. Okay,, just saw 'San Andreas', and this entertained me more than the movie did. Ye gods, did that film have so much as one original idea?